Domestic abuse (DA) can have a severe impact on one’s mental health and well-being and has been shown to be at least as prevalent within LGBT relationships as heterosexual relationships. However, heteronormative narratives around same-sex DA mean that victims are less likely to name their experience as DA, and less likely to seek professional support, such as psychotherapy. Gay men can face specific help seeking challenges and there is a seeming absence of qualitative in-depth research into gay men’s experiences of engagement with psychotherapy. In this context, this research project used Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) to reflexively explore how five gay male victims of DA made sense of their experience of therapeutic engagement, thereby voicing their unique needs and circumstances. The impact of participants’ relationships with themselves (Self-with-Self) and others (Self-with-Other) on their sense-making of the abuse emerged as key themes, culminating in often-long journeys to a turning point whereby they knew that something in their abusive relationship had to change. Once in therapy, the therapeutic relationship had reparative potential as it both helped participants to make sense of their abusive experiences and gave them a different relational experience, thus enhancing the potential to break repetitive patterns of abuse. Recommendation for wider society (the macro) down to individual therapists (the micro) were made, in the hope that more gay male victims of DA access and engage with support services such as psychotherapy, thereby not hiding and suffering in silence, and that DA support services and mental health professionals such as therapists are able to respond to them more appropriately and effectively from a more informed position. 

Shaun completed his qualitative doctoral research as part of the DCPsych (Doctor in Counselling Psychology and Psychotherapy by Professional Studies) degree through Metanoia Institute and Middlesex University in London. Prior to working in private practice as a Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist, Shaun worked in the criminal justice system for 16 years. Whilst he initially provided direct support to victims and witnesses attending court to give evidence in trials, he was latterly overseeing several operational services in London’s largest and busiest criminal courts whilst concurrently attempting to influence government policy on the treatment of victims and witnesses.